Making decisions is like gambling, one wrong mistake it could ruin the rest of your life. Thats why I’m scared.

人生有多少个十年? (How many ten years are there in life?) As quoted from Chai Gau in Rosy Business. Say, you make a wrong choice when you’re 20, approximately 80 years of your life will be wasted.

I wish my parents can make every decision for me, yet I wish they don’t.

Of course, I want them to make decisions for me which are in my favour, and I hope they don’t make those that are not. Why don’t I just make my own decisions then? I’ll just go with those that I like. I wish I could. But I fear that they are wrong.

Just like this blog, just like design (the subject). I don’t know what to do with them. I love my blog, I love blogging, but I’m contemplating whether to give it up after this year. I’ve got the nicest affiliates who keep in touch, I enjoy writing but the devotion only comes when I have no school aka holidays. Furthermore, I’m sitting for GCE O-levels next year, I will be so much more busy and my schedule will be increasingly hectic. I don’t know, I want to keep my affiliates and continue blogging occasionally. Perhaps I will go on a one year hiatus or convert the main page of this site to my shop, and then convert it back after next year, or just maintain the status quo.

As for design, I don’t know whether I should just drop the subject entirely. If I do, I won’t have any “backup subject” which means I’ll have to do well in everything I take. It isn’t really much of a matter to me, but what the heck, I have the nicest classmates in there.

More recently, a “door” has been opened to a part of my dreams, but I don’t think I’ll “walk in”. I don’t dare. I don’t have the guts to take this leap of faith.

What if anything goes wrong? What if I really made the wrong choice?

Heck though, I have a lot of time to decide on it =/

Its not even the starting line of the rest of my life and I’m writing such stuff. LOL.

Dear mommy and daddy,

I don’t know how to start this, because it seems to me, whatever I say from the bottom of my heart, it sounds cheesy. I don’t know how not to make this sound corny either.

But meh, whatever I’m just gonna write whatever I want to right here. I HOPE you guys don’t see this, but if you do, please don’t tell me :X I’ll probably just fall into an awkward stance.

Here goes, you guys have always thought that I hated you, at least 2 years ago when yes indeed, I hated you for a while. 13 years old – that was my most self conscious year. I took part in a competition – together with a group of people who brought me unconditional happiness, but at the same time devastation. You came to support me but I was mad pissed when you all showed yourself in front of my “friends”, and even when they were crying LOL.

Since then on you THOUGHT I hated you. Yes I did but it was just a pet peeve kinda thing… I didn’t hate to the extent where I feel ashamed to parade my parents…. or whatever.

I didnt get why I did that, at first, too. Maybe its just an excuse, but I figured out that it perhaps could’ve been because I didn’t want people to comment on you guys because of me.

Nuff said.

I also hated assumption, as in the assuming of things (about me)

But still I love you guys now haha :D Nuff said again wtf.

Love,

ME!! :)

Oh well, I don’t have a crush for now.. and I don’t have any idea what to write O_O”

So I guess I’ll write to an imaginary crush wtf. I don’t know how that works but if I had a crush I’ll probably write him this -_-

Hi, you must be really cute for me to crush on you :D Hmmmm, also you shouldn’t be a celebrity cause most celebrities aren’t cute although I hope you are one (wtf). Anyway, I don’t love you cause its just a crush so yep ><

I’m probably inhumane not to have a crush. Ahh well, but such feelings can’t be forced.

Looking at tomorrows timetable, I’ll have time after school so I’ll

1) Reply Comments

2) Post Day 2

3) Post YOG post

Thats it! :)

HALLO!!

Letter to my friends:

(I actually don’t have a best friend, I mean I know my friends, but I just don’t know which is my best hahaha :) so this letter is gonna be dedicated to my friends instead. I’m trying not to make letters sound cheesy as much as possible lol)

HEY! I love you guys, but not everytime haha!! We piss each other most of the times, and thats why! But its all for the fun right? Hmm… I’m not a friendly person, I was never one. I have little friends, and I’m kinda antisocial, so its really fate that I could click with you guys.

There are some things I would like to thank you for, like when my canteen phobia strikes, you guys would accompany me hahaha. I hate crowded places, and I’m grateful for your sacrifices and concessions made for me. I know I’m weird and cryptic, you guys have told me so…. what I’m trying to say is, you don’t need to understand me (although it would be great if you could). Hmmm, I know I have a lot of secrets, that I keep from everyone around me. And I don’t even want to share them with you guys. Perhaps I’m just used to being alone, or I feel at ease at private, and thats why I don’t open up a lot to you all haha. Its not a matter of trust, its my problem, so no worries? (and they are just irrational useless rants anyway lol)

Lastly, I know that I can be self centered and arrogant at times, I have my flaws and sometimes I hate you guys for your flaws like wtf. Please forgive me (and bear with me for the moment), and I’m trying to kick the habit already. So yep!! With that I end this letter.

XOXO

Rachelle :)

Side track:

There are a few topics in this challenge I’m unable to complete, like

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Because the subject for the topics are NIL. LOL. So any ideas on what to replace them? I’ll write anything as long as its possible.

Meanwhile, these are the topics I’m looking forward to :D

Your parents, Your dreams, Someone you wish you could meet, Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to, Someone you’ve drifted away from, The person that you wish you could be.

Ahh… so well, while I was visiting blogs I noticed some people doing a challenge, for example every blog post being titled Day X: _______

I didn’t know what was going on at first, so after researching and stuff, I realized these challenges are inspired by Tumblr.

Basically you do a challenge where you blog about a specific topic everyday.

BINGO! Exactly what I need to keep this blog going on wtf!

After searching for challenges, I decided to go with this:

Tumblr 30 Day Letter Challenge.

• Day 1 — Your Best Friend
• Day 2 — Your Crush
• Day 3 — Your parents
• Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
• Day 5 — Your dreams
• Day 6 — A stranger
• Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
• Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 — The person you miss the most
• Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
• Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 — The last person you kissed
• Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

My affiliate, Meredith is doing the 365 Design a Day challenge and Jamie is doing a Tumblr one. Marina is also doing one. Do check them out :)

So yea, stay tuned! Day 1 starts tomorrow :D